The wait from Tuesday, June 2nd, the day we learned it was officially stage 4 metastatic lung cancer with spread to the liver, to the start of treatment with chemo and targeted therapy on June 12th felt like a l-o-n-g time. We were on board with the treatment plan and we wanted to get started as soon as possible, but treatment plan recommendations from tumor boards and approvals of expensive targeted therapy pills like Tagrisso don’t happen overnight. So we wait.

And we fill our time with important work like collecting information from those who have already gone through the process. This a club no one wants to join but once you’re in all those other members step up, pull you aside, put an arm around your shoulder and say, “I’ve been there too. It’s going to suck. This is going to happen. When it does, this worked for me. You can do this.” I heard a bunch of different versions of this and every single time it was incredibly kind and generous and informative and appreciated. Along the way, we received books and book recommendations, alternative medicine recommendations, meals, an essential oils diffuser, and bone broth. All of it is being put to immediate and effective use.

We also filled our time with eating meal after meal. Early on we received a recommendation to look at making nutrition changes to supplement treatment. We hired a trusted nutritionist to work with us and posited a theory that sounds something like this. “If cancer is made up of cells and cells need fuel, let’s figure out the fuel that helps the cells thrive and create a diet that gives the cancer cells no access to what it needs and gives Scott all the fuel the rest of his body needs. Let’s feed Scott and starve the cancer.” For the previous ten years or so I operated on a pretty healthy 2000 calorie per day diet. At the flip of a switch, I was placed on an even more healthy anti-inflammation diet of 3500 calories per day to try to fatten me up for chemo … or Thanksgiving. If you haven’t tried eating 3500 calories of clean food—organic broccoli, cauliflower, avocado, nuts, sprouted grains, and spices, without any red meat, added sugar, anything processed or alcohol—let’s just say it takes work. And it works. Kathleen relentlessly brings me meal after meal for two weeks and I packed on ten extra pounds before the start of treatment.

For the rowers, the day before treatment was like the day before the finals at a regatta. You’re totally ready. You’re totally focused. You want to begin and you just have to wait and find a way to fill the time constructively and take your mind off of what you’ve prepared for, because you can’t start until you can start … tomorrow.